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How to love yourself

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How to love yourself

Post by littlecut on Sun May 25, 2008 12:24 pm

How To Love Yourself
By Alex Anderson

Now I'm not talking about the love that is done with the shades down,
computer screen open and a handful of tissues. I mean the type of love
that is unconditional, builds confidence and makes your life a whole
lot happier.

Most people have different aspirations in life other than loving
themselves. They want boats, women, money and so on but not love. They
look outside of themselves searching to fill the empty hole in an
attempt to find happiness. If you are looking to get relationship and
dating mastery, loving yourself is the first place to start. No amount
of pickup lines or techniques will EVER make up for a shaky inner
reality filled with self loathing and doubt. It is the foundation for
everything to go right in your relationships and in life.

I understand what you are thinking, that this is just some airy fairy
self help advice. This is what I thought for the longest time but
choosing to love myself has been the greatest gift that I could give.

The biggest problem that I had with people offering this advice was:
they didn't love themselves and didn't offer a guide on how to do it.
So here is my little guide to loving yourself:

1. Write out a list of things you appreciate about yourself

This can be a very difficult step to take. People are so used to
wallowing in a pit of despair that they can EASILY fire off a list of
complaints they have about themselves.

Ask most people what they like about themselves and they will stare at
you with a blank confused look while they THINK about the good stuff
mustering up one or two positive qualities.

Don't get frustrated when the good qualities don't come easily to mind.
It takes time to meditate on what you love about yourself but it will
come to you.

This is a crucial step to take, without finding out and actively appreciating yourself, how will anyone else?

2. Make the choice to love yourself

Everything in life is a choice and so is this one

3. Stop beating yourself up and ignore the thoughts

The mind/ego is a duality self loathing machine. It will constantly
tell you that you are fatter and dumber than you really are. It does
this to keep you halfway between suicide and happiness in order to
continue its survival.

YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS. You are not your thoughts any more than you
are your muscles or skin. People often identify with how they look and
I like to think that I'm more than a bone structure and the skin that
covers it. You'll never hear anyone get upset and say they are losing a
part of themselves when their skin sheds and becomes dust.

The mind wont stop chattering away so make the choice to either engage
in these thoughts or not. Most of the thoughts that your mind produces
will not be based in reality at all.

An example of this would be a perfect ten model who thinks she's fat.
Everyone around her could tell her that she's not but her ego will
repeat this thought over and over. She isn't actually fat, but she
believes it to be true because she is identifying with the mind.

Ignore the thoughts that your mind produces. This can be very
difficult. It takes time to master ignoring the negative mind thoughts.

4. Don't use affirmations except this one

As I mentioned before the mind is a duality machine. If you take an
affirmation like "I am great and all women love me" the mind will
instantly produce the opposite. It will say "I suck and women hate me."
The first affirmation will make you feel high, feeling good for a
little while until the duality kicks in and you crash with returning
sadness.

"I love and accept myself completely just the way I am" will not induce
the duality the mind makes because it is a universal truth that is self
evident.

Next time you are feeling the temptation to buy into the mind when it
says you are a loser, say "I love and accept myself completely the way
I am" and notice how peaceful you will feel. It might take a couple of
times repeating it until the peace sets in.

At first it might seem like you are lying but eventually loving yourself will become automatic.

5. Become honest with yourself

Now that you have taken a look at the good stuff it's time to look at
the "bad stuff." Recognizing the things you consider bad about yourself
isn't the same as talking yourself down. When you take a trip into your
own world don't make judgments about the "bad stuff." Don't tell
yourself " I shouldn't feel this way" or "I shouldn't behave this way."
Just look at it the best you can without attaching a label to it.

Honesty will bring awareness into your "issues." When you are aware of something it no longer has the ability to control you.

6. Forgive yourself

In order to forgive yourself for the "mistakes" you have made in the past you must first learn the lessons needed from them.

Mistakes happen and we make them in order to learn and grow. They are truly a beautiful thing.

7. Treat yourself nicely

-Buy nice clothes

-treat yourself to good foods

-buy good wine

-exercise

-meditate

-don't work too hard

-don't worry about life too much

-buy yourself an animal. It will help you to open up and feel more love
in your life having an animal get extremely excited even though it just
saw you ten seconds ago. (look at the picture at the top)

8. Don't take crap from people

Quote from my blog

"Whenever we give our power away to others and take crap from them, it
closes our hearts and causes us to pull back. It's painful to be open
with someone and have them take advantage of us or treat us not so
nicely."

Truly loving yourself means that you love yourself so much so to not let anyone disrespect you or treat you badly.

9. Push past your fears

Fear is only a product of the ego and the ego hates you. Its not your
enemy to loath because its only doing what it knows how to do. Fear is
an illusion that the ego uses to keep you nice and controlled. You find
out that fear isn't real after you push past it. The most common
response after plowing through a fear is "well, that wasn't so bad."

Pushing past your fears and having the courage to do so will help
lessen the egos self loathing control over you. It will build more
confidence as well as help you love yourself more because loving
yourself is your natural state buried underneath the ego.

-Alex

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Re: How to love yourself

Post by Mr. Vain 16 on Tue Jun 10, 2008 11:42 pm

love yourself?!

don't fall too much.

if you're stupid, then go fuck yourself.

^^
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Re: How to love yourself

Post by Antlan on Sun Jun 15, 2008 1:12 am

meron din akong isang technique para malaman ^_^ magpakalasing ka! kusang gagawin ng katawan mo yung mga gusto mo talagang gawin o yung tinatawag na (inner) nakatagong you!
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Re: How to love yourself

Post by killer_momonja on Thu Jun 19, 2008 5:48 am

-.-

mxdo nmng komplikado yan,

ansimple simple lng nmn,

ang pgkaen mu pra mbusog k eh way n ng pgma2hal s sarili noh, XD

un un...

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Re: How to love yourself

Post by eMCee on Wed Jul 16, 2008 9:28 pm

do i love myself?
hahaha wasak...

napaisip harhar
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Re: How to love yourself

Post by katsumi on Thu Jul 17, 2008 1:48 am

pede bang gawin ung mga un kapag feeling mo eh napakawalang kwenta mong tao at gusto mo na mamatay??hehehehe

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Re: How to love yourself

Post by eMCee on Thu Jul 17, 2008 10:10 pm

pag ganun isa na lang ang kelangan mong gawin..
wasak!
baka kaya pang maisalba un...
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Re: How to love yourself

Post by Mr. Vain 16 on Sun Jul 20, 2008 1:52 am

.

^^
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Re: How to love yourself

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